


Soulmate Root TM

by silsecri



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Crack, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-02
Updated: 2010-09-02
Packaged: 2017-10-11 10:08:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/111235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silsecri/pseuds/silsecri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Honey, you can barely make mac & cheese from a box. What makes you think you can grow your own soulmate?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soulmate Root TM

  
  
  
  
  
---  
  
  
**Soulmate Root™**

  
The instructions on the box were simple:

1.Open the box and, carefully, take out the Soulmate Root™ (SR™ from now on).  
2.Rinse the SR™ under flowing water, like the kitchen sink. IMPORTANT: be sure you don't place the SR™ in a body of still water.  
3.Place the SR™ in the previously dug hole in your garden on a full moon night.  
4.Water the SR™ every third day.  
5.The day after the following new moon, bury the items that represent the character traits you wish your future soulmate to possess in small holes surrounding your SR™. NOTE: the average number of traits a SR™ can absorb is 3-5. If you bury more than that, the SR™ will pick at random. BE AWARE.  
6.Collect your new soulmate on the night of the following full moon.

Simple, right?

How come Adam had followed every single instruction and still failed, then?

Three times!!!

"You're obviously doing something wrong."

Adam glared at Brad. "I. Am. Not."

Brad snorted. "Honey, you can barely make mac &amp; cheese from a box. What makes you think you can grow your own soulmate?"

"The box says 'Soulmate Growing for Dummies!'" Adam exclaimed, arms flailing, frustration taking over his self-preservation instincts. "Of course _I_ can do it!"

Brad laughed so long Adam had to pinch him to make him stop. Dammit, he wasn't supposed to tell Brad that part.

"Ow, ow, stop it." Brad pushed his hands away and managed to control his laughter enough to placate Adam. "Okay, okay, we'll get a new kit and I'll help you this time."

Adam scowled at him. He wanted to tell Brad that he was perfectly capable of getting his own soulmate, thank you very much. But then... Three times! All evidence pointed to the contrary.

"Don't worry, Adam, we'll get you a soulmate," Brad went on, ignoring Adam's less than amenable attitude, "that way you can finally move on with your life and stop pining for me- Ow, will you stop that already?"

Adam kept poking and pinching any available part of Brad he could find. "Bitch, please. I've so moved on."

Brad just laughed on.

***

"Okay, where are your personality traits?" Brad asked, kneeling on Adam's backyard.

Adam hesitated. "Mm... just, you know, just dig the holes and I'll put them in myself," he mumbled.

Brad wanted to complain. He was supposed to be doing all the technical stuff here, to make sure Adam didn't screw up and, also, he was curious, okay? Sue him.

Maybe Adam had a point, though, given their history. He wouldn't want to know Adam wanted someone just like him, like Brad 2.0. That would be just awkward. But what if Adam wanted someone completely different? That would probably hurt the part of Brad who once upon a time thought _he_ would be Adam's soulmate.

Finally, Brad just nodded and started digging. He totally pretended he didn't see Adam sigh in relief, too.

"How many?"

Adam looked down at the box on his lap. "Three."

Brad finished the third hole and stood up. He squeezed Adam's shoulder briefly and then left him alone.

Adam picked the first item. This had been the hardest part. Not only choosing the traits but finding the items that would make his choice clear. He'd refined his picks over the previously failed attempts.

He put the music note charm in the first hole. He wanted someone creative. Any kind of creativity would work but Adam loved music so this seemed the safest choice.

The second item, a small model map of the US where he'd painted over the southern states with his nail polish, had given him many a headache. Exactly how are you supposed to let a root know you liked the twang in their voices, the charm of their smiles, the laziness in their blood from hot summers. He had debated with himself if you could consider southern as a personality trait (he kinda thought you couldn't) but Adam so had a type. It was better to go with what you know.

And last, he put his grandfather's wedding ring in the third hole. He wanted someone who believed, it didn't matter what he believed in but Adam was a great believer in karma and the universe and soulmates. He wanted someone who wouldn't make fun of him for it. Someone who believed in commitment and long-term and loyalty. Someone who would support him in his career because Adam was sure he could be great if someone gave him the chance.

Adam pressed the earth tightly over all three holes, wishing with all his might this time it would work.

***

"What the heck, man!"

"I- I don't know what-"

Adam startled awake.

He was lying on his backyard, the full moon shining on him. He looked at the place where his new soulmate should've grown and was not surprised to see nothing there. Disappointed, sure, but not really surprised.

The raised voices from the road caught his attention again. There were two guys standing next to a taxi parked in front of his house. The taxi driver was flailing his arms around, trying to explain something to his passenger. The guy wasn't really listening to him.

"This is the fourth time! What is it with this place and the full moon?!"

Adam approached them warily. This was LA after all.

"I swear I drove to the address you gave me, I don't know how we got here. This is, like, in the opposite direction!"

"No, no, I know," the guy said tiredly. "Last time _I_ was driving and I still ended up here. I don't know what this place is but the universe really wants me here."

Adam cleared his throat and they both turned to look at him.

The passenger looked suddenly apologetic. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you. I forgot it was so late."

But Adam wasn't paying attention to his words. He was too busy taking in the vision the Universe had delivered to his door. Four times, apparently, while he was too busy staring at a pot waiting for a human being to grow out of it. Man, he was stupid.

The guy was small-ish, dark hair, beautiful face. His accent made Adam's belly tingle, and he was carrying a guitar case.

Adam was in love.

"I'm Adam," he introduced himself, offering his hand.

The guy hesitated briefly, he looked at the house behind Adam and up to the full moon. Finally, he took that step closer and shook Adam's hand. "Kris. You live here?"

Adam had the grace to look apologetic, "Yeah... I, er... I think maybe it's my fault you-"

But Kris was smiling. "You wouldn't happen to be creative, confident and outspoken with a heart of gold, would ya?"

Adam's mouth dropped open. "What-?"

Kris took a chain from under his shirt. Hanging from it was a shiny silver charm in the form of the Soulmate Root™. "That was fast," Kris said. "I only bought this two days ago."

Adam smiled happily at Kris. "You wanna, maybe, come in?"

Kris took out his wallet and gave the forgotten cabbie his money. Then he picked his bag and his guitar and followed Adam into his home.

_fin_


End file.
